instructor of the immobile arts (ingridmatthews) wrote in hatecorp,
instructor of the immobile arts
ingridmatthews
hatecorp

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Keep 'Em Flying!

Presenting ...



Have you ever wanted to just fling your most hated character/storylines/episodes over a huge wall and hear the satisfying *SPLAT!* as they were turned into a grisly cement sandwich?

Well, here you go. Send 'em flying, peeps!

 BOINNNNG!


HELEN

Listen up, Dr. Doom. Pushy bitch does NOT = strong. I wanted to keep you around, because I thought that you'd be turning evil, thus making things slightly interesting, but you're just turning my stomach for no good reason.

Thus, you gotta go. In the bucket, bitch.

BOINNNNNG!!

LANA

Even Howard Stern is starting to think you look like a monkey. Me, I think you're pretty, but not pretty enough for me to take another minute of your self-absorbed, badly acted, lame-o storyline that is starting to detract from my Clark Is Pretty love because anyone who loves *you*, no matter how pretty, is a damaged individual. And MY Superman ain't like that, damn you, not even back then.

This is so long overdue.

BOINNNNNG!!!

JONATHAN

Too bad the Neanderthals died out. They'd have loved you.

Get IN the bucket, you pompous dickwad. NOW.

BOINNNNG!!!!

Episodes: Nocturne, Visage, Dichotic, Crush, Obscura and Fever

In the bucket! In the bucket NOW, you horrible, horrible creations of evil.

In, in, in!

BOINNNGGG!

Whew. That was thirsty work.

Anyone else want to work this thing a while?
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  • 6 comments
LexluvsClark -- oh my god! I love you and want to marry you and give you babies!

Paging Dr. Bryce...

When you first appeared, I noticed the lopsided eye but let it slide. You were funny and had promise. Then you became the adult Lana from hell. You whine, you bitch, you make my non-lopsided eyes twitch! When you take a break from sneaking around the castle, I'd love for you to explain to me how it is you achieve the status of researcher, MD, housecall doc, OB/GYN, Dropkicker-extrordinnaire, ER doc, surgeon and breaker of walls around Lex's heart because you obviously aren't even smart enough to have sex with the guy at every opportunity.

Into the bucket... maybe your landing with pop those eyes back into place.

BOINNNNNNNGGGGG!

Episodes: Nocturne, Visage, Dichotic, Fever, Visitor, Redux, Skinwalker, Rush

I want those 8 hours of my life back - you bastards!!

BOINNNGGGGGGGG!!

The Smallville Writers of Season Two

There are no words. I doubt you be flattened quite enough to suit me!

Get in there before I lose my patience and just shoot you!!

BOINNNNGGGGGGGG!!!


*sigh* I feel better...
I'm getting a paper plate and a spork...

to gather up what's left of Dr. Doom. She needs another ride in the Bucket O' Boing in my opinion.

Lana? Saddle up, cowgirl...one more ride, and try to hang on for the full eight seconds this time.

Byron? You go stand in the Neanderthal line behind Jonathan. You'll get your turn too, big fella.
Yanno, I don't actually *hate* Helen or Lana, so much as feel nothing for them at all. Mostly because Lex and Clark seem to have absolutely zilch-o chemistry with them. I mean, I just don't *get* either of these women. I don't even understand why they're necessary to the show at all.

I mean, Helen just moved in with Lex, and they don't even act like they've Done It yet. If I'd just decided to shack up with a guy, I'd be too damn busy boinking his brains out to waste time walking around his house trying every door! Geez!

To be honest, the only het-pairings on this show that I can stomach are: Jonathan/Martha, and the one represented by my current icon -- which I hope's not going to get me drummed out of CLex-fandom for good. ;)

Um, just kidding. ;)
Can I be waiting at the other end so I can stomp on the remains of Helen and Lana and then dance on them and then blow them up and then drive over them with a bulldozer and THEN shoot them out into space?

Because I'm a very peaceful soul, but, like, I've had it.
Whoo! Remind me never to piss you off! *g*
Pushy bitch does NOT = strong

Thank you. I am so sick of writers on shows thinking that this is how we want women to be. Not. I hate her character too. She just takes away from the sexy and makes every scene they do together boring.